Build a Life System That Works for You — Not Against You

2 minute read

Systems are meant to work with you, not against you.

I was listening to the Lavendaire podcast where Aileen had Dr Anne-Laure Le Cunff on as a guest, and they were discussing how creating tiny experiments can help transform your life.

As I was listening, I started reflecting on my own journey, the times I decided I wanted change and actively began making shifts, only to find myself back at square one by day seven. Or the moments I turned to social media for inspiration, only to hear words that didn’t feel authentic to me.

What I discovered is this, systems should be designed to work with you, not against you. They should align with your unique self and support your growth.

You might be thinking, But how do I actually do that? Or maybe, I’ve tried, and it didn’t work.

That’s where the art of experimenting comes in. Experimenting is like your chilled aunt, the one who never pressures you, but lets you explore freely when your parents aren’t around.

Experiments are discovery, a way to discover what actually works for you.

This process is commonly known as a feedback loop.

Feedback loops allow us to gather information about what we enjoy, what we don’t, and what needs adjusting. When your brain recognises that something feels good or meaningful, it sends signals that boost motivation, builds momentum and eventually, scales systems that support you.

Up for a challenge?

Try this:
Commit to 4 weeks of experimenting with a new habit. Throughout the process, collect as much information as possible:
– How did you feel before, during, and after?
– Did your emotions shift?
– Did your energy change?

Check in at the end of each week to review the data. And once the 4 weeks is up, ask yourself: Is this habit something I want to commit to or is it time to move on?

Why 4 weeks?
Because it gives you time to gather meaningful insight without pressure, and without the weight of committing for life. It’s just enough time to explore, reflect, and decide.

So, the next time you want to change a habit or try something new, start small. Commit to just 4 weeks. Gather your feedback, then decide whether it truly aligns with you.